As we end a year and begin a new one, I always take the time to reflect on the year past and make goals for the future year. These are not necessarily “resolutions” but more things that I found I may have struggled with in the past and really want to work on now and in the future.
This past year I took a huge leap of faith (for myself) and started this blog. In just a couple of weeks I will be celebrating what us bloggers call a “blogiversary” which is a blog anniversary.. And for me it will my very first one. Throughout the past year I have displayed my heart for others to see, something that is NOT easy for me. In fact it’s one of the hardest things for me to do. I lived many years not letting anyone in, but last year around this time I really felt in my heart, for whatever reason, it was time for me to be honest and open about my journey as a mom, a wife, a friend and as a writer.
Do you want to know a secret…I deleted the word writer in this last sentence three times before finally deciding to leave it. I don’t know why, but I feel like I shouldn’t be able to call myself a writer because I haven’t had a publishing team seek me out to write a book or maybe it’s because my name doesn’t appear on any best sellers lists…but for whatever reason, I don’t feel like I have earned that title. Just like so many times in my past, I won’t allow myself the credit I deserve. I don’t say that in a boastful way, I say that to you, my friends, because I see so many people do just that each day… They work so hard at something, have rightfully earned a title or a position yet they don’t allow themselves to enjoy it because they feel some how they aren’t good enough to carry that name. But, as part of my new year goals, I am working on allowing myself to enjoy what I have worked so hard to do. This year, I want to dream big and love every part of it. I want reach for the clouds and believe I can do anything I put my mind to. I want to leave self doubt behind and move forward with everything I have. No more half in, no more telling myself I am not worth it, or not capable. Because in my heart I know I am, I just have to allow my brain to trust that.
Often times it’s hard not to carry doubt and worry in every crevice of my being because of either past circumstances robbing me of my joy or my desire to dream big or sometimes it comes in the form of criticism from others, or some one planting the seed of doubt that you’ll never make it. And I have to be honest, I encountered that a lot this past year.. Some people find my blog silly, and think my voice isn’t worth hearing. Others have flat out told me “I’ve never taken the time to read it, but maybe I will some day” and I’ll be honest folks, that stings a bit. Okay it stings a lot. But then I have to ask myself why? Why are these the people you are focusing on? People that don’t share your dream with you? People that don’t want to build you up but will take any opportunity to break you down? This blog isn’t for those people. This blog is for me, and the readers out there that truly want to see my heart and want to share theirs as well. And thanks to all of you that are reading this right now, I have some pretty amazing support to savor. And that’s what I will be focusing on in 2016, both with my blog, and in my life as a whole. I will no longer be living in the shadow of my doubters… This year I want to live in the light of those who I love and love me back. I want to live my life enjoying the positive and not getting stuck in the negative. I want this year to be full grace, joy and forgiveness. I want to live this year, really live, without all the doubt and worry and let everything else fall as it may, trusting God the whole way.
One day, my dream… My goal… My resolution.. My plan.. What ever you want to call it, is to write a book and actually have it published. One day I want my name on the front of book that was meant to be written. Something I will work on, and strive for until it happens. But in the mean time I will continue to write openly and let God use my voice to speak others near and far…
As we start a New Year, I want each of you to dig deep and find that dream that you may have tucked away so far you thought it was gone forever.. And I want you to pull that dream back out, dust it off, and give it life again this year. I don’t know what it may be, but I do know that if we try folks, if we work diligently and put it at the Lords feet daily..it is possible. This year, dream big, pray big, live big. Make this the year of change, the year of grace, the year that changes the rest of your life.
Xo
You are a writer for sure. It is a gift. Love you my sister.
Love you too xoxoxo
Nichole you ARE a writer. Anyone who writes regularly is a writer. Even more so because you put your writing out into the world. Not everyone will understand you or your work, but they don’t have to. Your work will speak for itself and you will find like minded readers. Happy New Year!
Wow thank you so much Laura!! I appreciate that very much!! I hope 2016 is a wonderful year for you!
Inspiring! We all need to dream big and make sure we remember to nourish them every now and then!
Absolutely Allison! I hope 2016 is great for you!
You’ve only been blogging for a year? I never would have guessed it. You are definitely a writer, and a good one. Your writing has touched my heart this year!
Thank you so much Leslie, That sincerely means a lot to me. so glad you have “met” you this past year through the blog 🙂 xo