Have any of you ever encountered a person who becomes overly clingy or almost seems to becoming obsessed with you? They often don’t pick up on clues that you need and want some personal space and don’t seem to understand when you are not available to spend every minute of the day with them. Well folks, if you have answered yes, then you have probably found yourself your very own stage five clinger.
I know I have. Introducing Stage five clinger, toddler edition: A.K.A- A child that won’t leave your side. Ever. Never. Ever.
Friends, I love my daughter. I do. She is a true blessing from God and I would not know what to do with myself without her. But you guys, she is a stage five clinger. Like a legit, won’t leave my side, might actually shrivel up into a ball and melt away if she didn’t see me for a few days, type clinger. Apparently I never got the memo that she signed us up for attachment parenting. Don’t get me wrong, I love each one of my kids and spend practically every waking moment with them. But for goodness sake, I could use a break once in a while!
Here are 10 signs that you too, may be living with a stage five clinger: Toddler style!
1. You Sit down to eat your meal and within a few minutes you see your toddler slowly start slipping out of her seat. She thinks you don’t see her, and that she is using some sort of Tom Cruise stealth Mission Impossible moves as she makes her way over to your chair and climbs up on your lap. You then eat the remainder of your meal using your own Tom Cruise moves trying not to drip your food all over her head.
2. You go to use the bathroom and your little shadow isn’t more than a few inches behind you. As you sit down on the toilet she sits down on the floor right next to you and stares at you as you go. Then smiles at you and announces “All done, Mama!!” when you reach for the toilet paper.
3. When you have to leave the house at any given time, he is right there behind you getting his shoes on too..just automatically assuming he is going with you where ever you may go. There is no bigger betrayal than you leaving him behind.
4. When night time rolls around only you can put her to bed. The mere thought of someone else being the one to rock her to sleep sends her into such a tizzy that she can barely see straight. Don’t you dare think about date night. Not.gonna.happen.
5. You have a “helper” for all your daily chores. You sit down to do laundry, she is there sitting on your lap “folding too”. You put away the groceries, he is there standing behind the pantry door as you close it, staring at you. You dust, she is right there by your side with her own swifter duster. You cook, he’s there unloading all the pans and Tupperware out of each cupboard, just in case you needed one of them.
6. Your husband gets her milk instead of you and the melt down of all melt downs is now transpiring all over the kitchen floor. You might as well just end the day right there because there is no coming back from this one. There is no reason for anyone in the world other than mommy to be filling that sippy cup. What were you thinking?
7. Your shower time now consists of your toddler watching you through the shower curtain. Most of the time he ends up covered in as much water as you. And chances are, this little lady had you so distracted, that after your done drying off you realize you forgot to shave your legs.
8. You leave him in the car with your significant other while you run into a store quick to grab some milk and bread and he quite possibly loses his mind. The tears, kicking and screaming that then proceeds does not end until your butt is back sitting in your seat. And just like that, all things in his world are good again. Remember there is no betrayal like being left behind. Refer back to #3.
9. She knocks anything that you may be holding or that may be taking time away from her out of your hands. Nothing is off limits, coffee, phone, pens, books, wine.. It’s all fair game. She will knock it out of your hands, just to stare at your face and smile.
10. His main mode of transportation is on your hip. His token to get on the train is the word “up!!” If he happens to start to wonder off with out you, all you have to do is walk in the opposite direction and within seconds he is running back to your side.
But friends, I have to say, if I had to be stuck with any stage five clinger in life, I am sure glad she’s the one. My little toddler stage five clinger completes me❤️ (even if she has stalker tendencies 😉 ).
Crystal says
I have got to say I really appreciated the couple of kids i had out of 7 that did #10. runners are exhausting!
ndmowry@yahoo.com says
Oh man Crystal do I ever agree! Runners are so tough! My middle guy was a runner and it was totally exhausting!! And wow! 7! How did I not realize you had 7 kids?! You rock mama!
Katie cannan says
This made me laugh…especially #6, so ridiculous but happens so often at my house! Truth be told, Im not ready for my youngest to graduate from the clinger stage 🙁
Emily says
Such a cute post! I can definitely relate to some of those. I have a 5 year old and 8 year old who still do a few of those! It can be very exhausting but it also means you are loved. It won’t last forever and then a new exhausting phase will start 🙂